Yesterday I had one of those thoughts. On the weekend we had friends come to stay in our house with their children. The children were older than my daughter but she really loved playing with them. She copied everything they did and followed them everywhere they went. This thought came to mind and caught me in its net: "I wish I had children earlier so that my daughter could have an older brother or sister to play with like this." What a pointless thought! Nothing I do can change the past but I still managed to make myself feel bad that things weren't different.
By labelling the thought as pointless I had already done a shortened version of helpful questions for unhelpful thoughts but to be a little more kind to myself I asked if there was anything I could learn about myself from this thought? It confirmed for me that I wish to have more than one child and although my daughter won't ever have an older sibling to look up to, she could be that for another child if I do choose to have one in the future.
So just like that I had found purpose in that pointless thought and I was ready to defuse from it and carry on. I do find that there is often purpose to the thoughts my mind brings up, even if it does so very ineloquently and requires a bit of digging to discover the core idea it might be trying to convey. A word of warning though, be careful that your reflection doesn't turn into rumination. If you find that you are getting dragged in deep and can't find any purpose then maybe it is just time to defuse from the thought and let it go. Everyone's mind is different and you may find that more often than not there is nothing to find in your pointless thoughts. Just do what works best for you.
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